


eighteen blue

by taeyomi (buttercream)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - High School, Basketball, M/M, Step-siblings, idk what else to tag for, lots of teen angst?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 16:19:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14572833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttercream/pseuds/taeyomi
Summary: Ten doesn't know why his parents thought he needed a brother, but suddenly Yuta was a part of his life. And he was ~perfect~. Before Yuta, Ten had never second-guessed himself. And now his every action feels like a cry for help. Like enrolling for Physics before senior year. Stupid.At least there's this really nice-looking senior who seemingly wants to befriend him.





	eighteen blue

**Author's Note:**

> yo my bros! i really liked writing this fic, i hope you enjoy reading it. thanks to my unnie bee who had to bear with me crying about this fic, and also for reading it over <3  
> i had a hard time finding a title lol so special thanks to story of year for writing sidewalks. that's it, peace out.

Yuta got himself another medal. Of course he did. It wouldn't be a normal day without Yuta managing to make himself the main subject at the dinner table. It's an essay medal or something, from this competition their English teacher made all seniors sign up for. Most of the kids were just doing it because Mr. Lee promised extra credit for their participation, but Yuta… Yuta had to go all out. He couldn't take part in a competition and not win.

Their parents are (naturally) all over him, showering him with praises and shoulder pats, big smiles adorning their proud faces as they look at their golden boy. Meanwhile Ten picks at his dinner and prays that they don't ask how his day has been so he doesn't have to lie. He hates lying to his parents. It's just that… Yuta has his shining medal around his neck and all Ten has is a fat ass D on his Physics quiz. He doesn't even know why he thought it was a good idea to take Physics this year; most people leave it for senior year anyway. (Not Yuta, Yuta took AP Physics on his sophomore year.) Stupid. Stupid idea coming back to bite him in the ass.

“What was the title of your essay?” their father asks. Ten peeks at Yuta from behind his lashes, not bothering to lift his head so they don't notice he's actually paying attention.

“The inconsistency of opinions in modern society,” Yuta announces. Their mother coos. Ten rolls his eyes.

It hasn't always been like this. Ten had two wonderful years living with the Kims before Yuta showed up.

Ten was seven when Kim Joonmyun and Joohyun adopted him. He remembers the whole ride from the Children's Home to their house as if it happened yesterday. The excitement of finally being part of a family, the anticipation of having his own bedroom. And Joonmyun and Joohyun were just perfect. A surgeon and a journalist. Ten didn't really understand how that could make them super important, but everyone else kept mentioning how great it was, how lucky he was to have been adopted by such a nice couple. And he fell in love with them instantly. They let Ten pick his bedroom decorations; bought his favorite ice cream every weekend. They lived in a nice house with a pool and everything, there were kids Ten’s age living next door and he could invite them over all the time. They used to go watch Ten’s soccer games and cheer for him no matter how ridiculously bad he was. It was like a dream.

And then Yuta came along. Yuta, who was one year older and so much better than Ten at pretty much everything. Yuta knew how to fold his clothes in perfect little squares. Yuta knew how to cook and how to turn on the vacuum cleaner. Yuta could play chess. Yuta was great at soccer. 

Ten doesn't know why his parents thought he needed a brother, but suddenly Yuta was a part of his life. And he was _perfect_. Before Yuta, Ten had never second-guessed himself. And now his every action feels like a cry for help. Like enrolling for Physics before senior year. Stupid.

“And how was your day, Ten?” his mother asks. Ten blinks out of his thoughts, looking up at her.

“Uh. Ok, I guess.” He shrugs, downing his eyes back to his food.

There's silence for a few moments, and then his father asks Yuta about the basketball team. Ten lets out a breath.

Truth is, there is no bad blood between them. Yuta has never picked on Ten, or gloated about his achievements. They used to play together when Yuta first came in, but it was pretty clear they weren't compatible from the start. 

When they finish dinner, Ten offers to help his mom with the dishes, and she kisses his temple. She's a little shorter than him, so he has to lean down, but it makes him giddy anyways. 

His parents don't neglect him. Ten knows he's loved; he had to be after all these years. The problem is that… Well, Yuta is perfect. There's absolutely no reason for the Kims to regret adopting him. While Ten… Ten is so different from his brother. He can't bring home a report card filled with straight As, he can't join the basketball team and become their MVP. He can't write 700 words on modern society and win a freaking medal. Ten knows his parents love him, but it doesn't stop him from wondering if they regret bringing him home.

\--

“Remind me why you're doing this.”

Taeyong takes a deep breath and briefly glares at Ten before placing his focus back on the sign up sheet in front of him. 

“You know it's for the credits.”

Ten hums, squinting at his friend. Taeyong is one of the best students in their year, there's credit oozing out of his pores. Ten doesn't understand why he keeps hoarding it. Ten thought being an honor student would be enough to put him in a nice college. Unless there's an ulterior motive. A real reason why Taeyong, someone who hates being the center of attention, suddenly decided to audition for another poorly executed Shakespeare play.

“I thought you were too cool for drama club,” Ten mentions just because he knows it might get a rise out of Taeyong.

“Shut up. You might want to consider auditioning too. You haven't picked up any extracurricular activity after dropping out of debate club.”

“Eh,” Ten shrugs. “I can do better with my time.”

Taeyong gives him an unimpressed look. “Like what? Binge watching lame series from the nineties?” 

Ten takes serious offense. “Freaks and Geeks is a classic!”

The bell chooses that moment to ring. That's when they part ways -- Taeyong has English and Ten has History. 

They're talking about some war today, a discussion which Ten tunes out in favor of sketching at the margins of his textbook. He can ask Kun for his notes later.

After History there's Physics. The class is filled with seniors, a few nerds and Ten. Unfortunately Kun is not there, so Ten is forced to pay attention to whatever bullshit Mr. Kwon is saying. He really tries to focus and _listen_ , but there are problems and equations on the board and Ten really hates equations. He gets lost during the first five minutes of the explanation, and resorts to pointlessly copying the equations onto his notebook. At the end of the class Mr. Kwon hands over paper sheets containing problems similar to the ones on the board.

“Ok, the paper I just gave you is supposed to be on my desk by next Tuesday. All problems must be solved.” There is a collective groan from the students. “And more. This is a pair assignment. Choose your partner.”

Well fuck. Ten doesn't really speak to anyone in this class, how is he supposed to find a partner? He is looking around mildly panicking at the prospect of having to handle this assignment by himself (he sucks at Physics!) when someone pokes at his arm.

Ten turns to his left to face a senior. 

“Um. Do you have a partner?” The boy asks.

“No.” Ten says.

“We could do it together,” the senior suggests, wiggling his pencil between them.

Ten blinks at him. They have sat next to each other since the beginning of the school year and this boy has never said a word to Ten. Although the offer is much appreciated, it’s odd that he’s decided to pick Ten as his partner. This is a class filled with his fellow seniors, there are nearly twenty other kids who most certainly know him by name. Ten doesn’t. Know his name, that is. Although he’s also pretty sure he's seen him around wearing the basketball uniform. 

The chances of someone else approaching him to partner up are nonexistent, so Ten has no choice but to shrug a half-hearted “Sure”.

The senior smiles. “Cool. I'm Johnny.”

“Ten.”

Johnny nods, leaning back on his chair, both arms crossing on his chest. Ten’s eyes instinctively lower to where the fabric of his jumper hugs his biceps. “I know. Yuta's brother, right?” 

Ten offers him a tight smile, looking back at his face. “So, how are we doing this?”

“We could meet at the library?”

“Monday?”

Johnny shakes his head. “That's too late. Tomorrow after class? That way if there's any problem we're not able to solve immediately we still have time to look over it later.”

That’s an observation that could only be made by someone who is used to actually doing homework. Pairing up with Johnny might be good for Ten.

“Ok. Tomorrow after class then.”

When the bell rings, Ten shoves his stuff into his bag and hurriedly makes his way out of class. He’s supposed to find Kun before he catches the bus home. Ten didn’t get to snap a picture of his notes after History class and if he doesn’t do it today he’ll definitely end up forgetting. 

The halls are packed with students rushing to escape school; it would be impossible to find Kun amidst the crowd, so Ten resorts to texting his friend. Kun takes his sweet time to reply, but does it eventually, saying that he’s almost out of the campus already on his way to the bus stop. Ten asks him to wait there and _runs_ to meet him. He manages to maneuver himself around distracted students on his haste, but is fatefully betrayed by his own untied shoelaces. Ten doesn’t acknowledge what’s happening until he’s knocking into someone and sending both of them to the floor. 

The person he just thumped down groans next to him, and Ten pushes himself up to face his victim and beg for forgiveness.

The moment he notices who was brought down with him, Ten’s whole face burns in shame.

“Are you okay?” Jaehyun asks from where he’s flopped on his butt, his shirt a bit wrinkled from the fall.

Ten busies himself with tying his shoelaces, avoiding Jaehyun’s eyes. Why couldn’t he have knocked down an innocent freshman?

“Yeah, fine.” Ten grumbles, standing up.

“Wow, are you guys alright?” Yuta’s voice approaches them, and Ten swears his face is ready to explode.

“I’m fine,” he blurts out, sparing them all one last glance before he hurries out, wishing the floor would just swallow him whole.

 _Fuckity fuck._ He couldn’t have finished the day without making a fool out of himself, could he?

When he finally meets Kun, his friend looks impatient. 

“I have to catch my bus, man. And why do you look like that?”

Ten doesn’t even want to know how he looks, to be honest. “Bumped into Jung Jaehyun on my way out,” he mumbles. “Quick, I need to take a pic of your notes.”

“Is that why you’re risking me missing my bus?” Kun glares at him, but reaches for the notebook in his backpack anyway. “You could have just asked me to take the damn picture for you.”

That thought had obviously never crossed his mind. “Just give me the thing.”

Kun hands it over with a sigh. “So Jung Jaehyun made you look like Frankenstein’s monster?” Sometimes Ten appreciates Kun’s candor. Not today, though. “Did you topple over him or something?” Ten’s silence is probably telling. Kun gasps dramatically. “Oh my god, you did! Dude!”

“Shut up.” Ten hands thrusts the notebook on him, and walks away. As if he didn’t know Kun would promptly follow him.

“Was it mortifying? Was the rest of the basketball team nearby?”

“Why do I have the feeling you’re enjoying this?” Ten adjusts the straps of his backpack and stops walking. He doesn’t even know where he’s going, his home is the other way.

“Because I take pleasure in you humiliating yourself.” Kun says sweetly. “Did he say anything?”

“Just asked if I was ok. Can we stop talking about this?”

Kun ignores him. “Of course he did, Jaehyun is an angel.”

Snorting, Ten resumes walking (in the right direction this time). He doesn’t agree, but Kun is kind of right. Jaehyun is a nice guy. Ten still has the birthday letter Jaehyun wrote him when they were still friends. A long, long time ago, before Yuta. Pretty much every good aspect of Ten’s childhood happened before Yuta.

 

Ten’s been into drawing houses lately. Some YouTube artist mentioned in one of her videos that drawing houses and buildings has helped her keeping a steadier hand, so Ten’s been a lot more attentive to the architecture surrounding him on his daily walk home. This evening he sits on his porch and sketches the house across the street. Ten likes sketching outside. It might be a bit cold, but it's certainly better than drawing from reference pictures. 

Art is the only thing that Ten can do better than Yuta. His brother knows all there is to know about art theory because of this summer course he was invited to take at the state university last year, but his practice sucks. Yuta couldn’t draw to save his life. It might be petty and childish, but it makes Ten feel a bit better about himself. Like there’s this one thing that no one can take from him.

After finishing the outline of the house, Ten inspects his drawing and decides it could use some color. He goes in to grab a watercolor palette from his room. Yuta is coming out of his own room. He arches his eyebrows at Ten. He’s wearing black jeans pants and a sweater, clearly dressed to go out.

“Hey, I was just going to find you.” 

Ten frowns. “You were?”

“We’re going to the movies. They’re screening Psycho. Do you wanna come?” 

‘We’ probably refers to half of the seniors in the basketball team, a crowd that is not Ten’s favorite. And even if he could bear those guys, it’s weird that Yuta thought it was a good idea to invite him out. They don’t really go out together (unless their parents were there too, and even _that_ hasn’t happened in ages), they’re not part of the same friend group, haven't been in years.

“Me?” Ten asks in confusion. “Go to the movies with you and your pals? Why would I do that?”

Yuta pushes both hands in his pants pockets. “I know you like horror movies.”

Ten’s taste in movies doesn’t actually clarify the invitation. “Yeah.” 

“So you’re coming?” His brother asks, and Ten would even dare to say he looks hopeful. What… The hell is going on?

“I… Have some stuff to do. History stuff.”

Yuta squints at him, almost like he knows there’s no History stuff. Ten clears his throat.

“Alright. Tell mom I’ll be home before nine.”

“Will do.” Ten says, clutching his sketchbook against his chest. He watches Yuta go out, and waits until the door has closed. Ten barges into his room and picks his phone from the nightstand, flopping belly first onto his bed while typing Taeyong a message.

 **To: big head taeyonggie ❤**  
yuta just asked if i wanted to go to the movies with him and his friends. i think it was a trap.

 **From: big head taeyonggie ❤**  
What? What do you mean a trap?

 **To: big head taeyonggie ❤**  
i knocked jaehyun down on my way out of school today. maybe they’re trying to get pay back or something.

 **From: big head taeyonggie ❤**  
YOU HAD A FIGHT?

 **To: big head taeyonggie ❤**  
no, moron. i was running outside and tripped. it was an accident. but maybe they think it was on purpose. it’s weird right?

 **From: big head taeyonggie ❤**  
Maybe he just wanted some quality time with his bro.

The idea makes Ten a bit sick. 

**To: big head taeyonggie ❤**  
yuta couldn’t care less about me. i’ll just keep my eyes open. and lock my door tonight.

\--

Johnny is pretty easy to spot in the library. A messy mop of auburn hair pushed back from his forehead by a bandana. He’s wearing his basketball uniform underneath a grey hoodie, and he’s biting the rubber end of a pencil. Johnny looks up from the book he’s reading when Ten sits down across from him.

“Oh, hey,” he says, a smile on his face. Johnny seems to smile a lot. Ten doesn’t know how to deal with smiley people.

“Sorry I’m late. Mr. Kim was not in a good mood.” Ten places his notebook, textbook, and pencil case on the table in front of him.

“It’s fine, I just got here.” Johnny closes his book and pushes it aside. ‘Starlight 3’ the cover reads. It doesn't look like anything Ten has read before (not that he reads much).

“What are you reading?” He asks out of curiosity.

Johnny seems surprised. He lifts the book so Ten can better see the cover. “It's a collection of short stories. I love the series.” He puts the book down. “Do you like science fiction?”

“Yeah, it's cool.” Ten says. “I prefer horror, though.”

“I've read some of Stephen King’s novels, they're pretty rad.” Johnny mentions. Ten knows who Stephen King is, but he can't really relate.

“I'm not much of a reader.”

Johnny shrugs, opening another smile. “That's fine, you can watch the movies. Hey, I was bored last night and finished the first two problems. I hope you don’t mind.”

Oh, bless his heart. Ten wouldn’t mind he had finished the whole thing to be honest. 

“No worries, man. Truth is I suck at Physics. Signing up for this class was the biggest mistake I made this year.” Maybe he shouldn’t be outing himself to this guy he doesn’t even know.

Johnny laughs at Ten’s confession, a bit too loud at first, but then he remembers where they are and puts his hand over his mouth. It’s kind of cute how he closes his eyes while laughing, and Ten finds himself chuckling as well. 

“Sorry,” Johnny says, adjusting the bandana on his hair. It’s red, black, and yellow, and it makes him look funny, but not in a bad way. “I can help you with that if you want.”

Ten is too screwed to refuse assistance, so he just lets Johnny ramble on about oscillations and mechanical waves. It’s confusing at first, but the way Johnny explains it kinda makes it a bit tolerable, and Ten actually _understands_. Oscillators are attached to something and move back and forth -- that’s why they’re called oscillators. There’s an equation for simple harmonic oscillators, and it’s the one they’re supposed to use with most of the problems. The calculus is a bummer in Ten’s opinion, and he doesn’t even get why they’re learning shit like this.

“Seriously, the computers are happy to do all this for us.” Ten protests, dropping his pencil on the notebook. “Why can’t we just leave it to them?”

Johnny props his chin on his palm, resting his elbow on the table. “Because if one day the computers stop working we should be able to handle ourselves.”

Ten rolls his eyes. “Don’t argue with me, Johnny, this crap is useless!”

The other looks amused when he says, “If anything, you need it to graduate from high school.”

“And that’s what I don’t understand. I mean, what are the odds of one of us actually using this equation? When will I ever need to calculate the amplitude of a harmonic oscillator?”

“What do you think we should be learning, then?”

“How to… Cook? How to fix stuff. CPR, I don’t know. Anything but… This.”

Johnny tilts his head. “We learn CPR in health class.”

He rolls his eyes again. “Whatever, they should be teaching us things that are going to be relevant in the future. This,” he gestures to the textbook laid out on the table. “Is not relevant.”

Silence stretches between them, and it makes Ten feel a bit self-conscious. He looks down at the textbook, uselessly highlights a passage. Ten can feel Johnny’s eyes on him, and he doesn’t want to look up.

“Fine,” Johnny says after a while. “I’ll take care of this.”

Ten takes a tentative look at Johnny and sees him retrieve the problem sheet they received from the teacher from under the books.

“What do you mean?” Ten asks.

“I’ll finish the assignment tonight,” Johnny says. “But you’re gonna owe me one.”

Ten watches him carefully. “So. You’re going to do this. By yourself.”

“Yes.”

“And you’ll tell Mr. Kwon I helped.”

“Exactly.”

“Why?”

Johnny sighs. He looks away, scratching the back of his neck. It tugs his bandana back, but he doesn’t bother fixing it. “Because you don’t know the subject, you can’t possibly help me.”

“So why don’t you just tell Mr. Kwon that I didn’t do anything? That you worked on this by yourself?” 

Clearly Ten has a problem. Here’s this guy who apparently knows his shit offering Ten a free ride. And he’s _arguing_. He shouldn’t be arguing, he should be building Johnny a freaking shrine.

“I wouldn’t want to be screwed over like that, I’m not about to do it to someone else.” Johnny says as if it’s so obvious that Ten is stupid for even asking.

Ten squints. “Is there anything you want from me?” Something suddenly pops into his mind, and he gasps. “Is this about Jaehyun?”

Johnny frowns. “What? Jaehyun?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose, it was an accident!”

Johnny looks at Ten like he’s speaking alien. “What? No, I just-- I was the one who asked if you wanted to pair up, it wouldn't be fair to just leave you hanging.”

Ten is ready to refute saying that Johnny didn't know Ten was dumb beforehand, but something (maybe his conscience, who seems to care about his grades) stops him. Ten presses his lips together, and stares at Johnny.

“Unless you want me to keep trying to teach you this stuff.” Johnny suggests. 

Well, he was able to grasp something of what Johnny explained earlier. “Would I learn enough to help you with the assignment today?”

Johnny winces apologetically. “I don’t think so. There’s a lot you should know.”

Yeah, Ten thought so. “Can you still teach me, though? Because you’re right, I need to learn the subject if I want to graduate.” It physically pains him to admit it, but it’s true. 

“You mean you want me to tutor you?” Johnny sounds surprised. His eyebrows arch high, and his lips remain slightly parted.

“If you have time? I understand your explanation better than Mr. Kwon’s.”

Johnny’s cheeks color at Ten’s statement, and he’s clearly trying to suppress a smile. It’s quite an unexpected reaction, Ten thinks. Johnny is blushing at a compliment that most people would just shrug upon. Yuta wouldn’t blush at that. Jaehyun would certainly not blush at that. Interesting. Maybe it means that Johnny is not like them? Somehow? Maybe he belongs to a different class of jocks: the soft jocks who help random classmates and blush at mild compliments.

“Yeah,” Johnny says, a smile breaking out. Ten can’t help but smile too. “We can work something out.”

The smile turns into a full blown grin, and Ten’s mind can’t stop screaming ‘soft’.

\--

Ten is bullied into attending the drama club auditions. He could be doing anything else. Taking a nap. Eating a sub. Watching another episode of Freaks and Geeks. Literally anything else. But Taeyong used emotionally manipulative methods to bring Ten into this auditorium, and Ten really can’t handle his pouting. Additionally, he’s a good friend (probably).

Ten pulls up the hood of his jumper and leans back on the seat, grumpily crossing his arms. He honestly hopes this is not an audition for a musical -- Ten hates musicals.

The first candidate is a short girl he’s never seen. Her number is a monologue; Ten doesn’t know if that’s why she screams at the end of each sentence. He uninterestedly googles ‘monologues’ halfway into her performance. The guy that follows her tap dances, and Ten takes the opportunity to check the only social network he has on his phone. He likes a picture of his uncle and rolls his eyes at yet another perfectly captured candid of Yuta, probably taken by one of his fans. 

“Attention seeker,” Ten mumbles, locking his phone and pocketing it.

After what feels like hours have passed, Taeyong finalled pops on stage. He doesn’t look as freaked out as Ten thought he would be. In fact, his friend seems confident. Taeyong rolls into it and actually delivers it. Ten didn’t think it was possible, but maybe Taeyong is an acting genius. His performance was enrapturing, Ten couldn’t look away. 

“I never thought I’d say this, but I hope you get it,” Ten says when Taeyong meets him outside.

The latter is about to retort when Johnny suddenly appears next to Ten.

“Hey Ten,” he says in a cheerful tone that Ten suspects is his default one. Johnny looks at Taeyong and nods at him.

“Hi.” Ten replies. 

“I just wanted to let you know that I finished the assignment. I can give you a copy if you want.” Johnny props both hands on his hips as he speaks. He’s wearing the basketball uniform again, but no hoodie. Ten wonders if he ever washes that thing.

“Oh, that’s not necessary. But thanks for… You know.”

Johnny smiles, then bites his lower lip. “Right, so. I thought we could set up a time for the tutoring? However you wanna do that.” He hands a piece of folded paper to Ten. “Here’s my number. You can call me or text, I’m always on my phone.”

Ten opens the paper to read ‘Johnny xxx-xxxx-xxxx’ scribbled in black ink. He folds it back and pushes into his pocket. “Cool, thanks.”

“No problem. See you around?” Johnny doesn’t wait for an answer, turning on his heels and jogging away from them. 

Ten and Taeyong stand there in silence until Johnny turns on a corner and disappear from sight.

It’s Taeyong who breaks the silence. 

“So,” he starts. Ten can feel the weight of Taeyong’s eyes without having to meet them. “Since when are you buddies with Johnny Seo?”

Ten doesn’t know why he’s feeling bashful about this, Johnny is his classmate. It’s alright if he makes acquaintances with classmates, isn’t it?

“We’re doing this Physics assignment together.” He spares Taeyong the gory details, like how Johnny did the whole thing by himself because Ten is useless.

Taeyong hums, stepping closer to Ten. “And… Tutoring?”

Right. There’s that. “I asked him to help me out. I don’t know if you remember, but I suck at Physics.”

“He’s friends with Yuta, you know.”

Yeah, Ten is well aware of that. Heaving a sigh, he faces Taeyong. “I’m not going to start hanging out with them.”

Taeyong lifts both hands in surrender. “I wouldn’t care if you did. That’s all you. I don’t see what’s so awful about those dudes, anyways.”

Rolling his eyes, Ten gives up on this discussion. Taeyong wouldn’t understand. How could he? 

 

Watching the seniors fuss about college and major decisions about the future makes Ten think about his own. His parents want him to go to college, naturally, and perhaps he should want it too. The problem is that there’s nothing that he excels at. Drawing, maybe, but can he draw his way into college? He should have paid attention to History classes and maybe stayed in debate club if he wanted to guarantee a spot for himself. The truth is… Ten doesn’t know what he should do. Should he do something that makes him feel good about himself, should he pursue a career in the arts? Or should he maybe go to med school, like his father (and probably Yuta)? 

He gets home one night and Yuta is sitting on the couch, both of their parents on each of his side and computer on his lap. They’re discussing colleges, housing, Yuta’s possibilities. Ten doesn’t hang around to overhear what they’re saying, he drinks a glass of water and holes up in his room.

Maybe is the atmosphere around him, all the planning and projecting. But something makes him pull the folded paper out of his unwashed jeans pocket and text Johnny Seo.

 **To: johnny**  
hey, this is ten.

The response doesn't come immediately. About five minutes pass before his phone is pinging with an incoming text.

 **From: johnny**  
Hi Ten! I was expecting your text. How are you doing?

That makes him picture Johnny sitting by his window, expecting Ten’s text. Which is nothing how it actually happened, Ten is sure.

 **To: johnny**  
fine. you?

 **From: johnny**  
I’m tired from practice. It was pretty rough today.

Ten is not sure what to reply to that. 

**To: johnny**  
oh no. i’m sorry?

 **From: johnny**  
Hahahaha it’s alright! It makes me feel like we’re making some progress! Are you texting about tutoring or did you just want to chat?

He surprises himself by thinking he wouldn’t mind chatting.

 **To: johnny**  
tutoring! my schedule is pretty free, so i’m cool with whenever after school. how about you?

 **From: johnny**  
We got practice Mondays and Wednesdays after school. Tuesdays I have math group, so that leaves Thursdays and Fridays.

Reading about his math group makes Ten snort.

 **To: johnny**  
math group. that’s such a nerd thing. are u in av club too?

It’s only after sending the text that Ten realizes he’s not that friendly with Johnny to make fun of his extracurricular activities. He stresses about it until the reply comes.

 **From: johnny**  
Haven't you heard? I’m pretty nerdy. Right now I’m laying onto my Harry Potter bed sheets. I’m a puff.

Ten lets out a relieved laugh, rolling in his bed and laying on his back.

 **To: johnny**  
i knew you were soft. all softies belong in hufflepuff.

 **From: johnny**  
Let me guess. You’re a slytherin.

 **To: johnny**  
my heart is green and silver.

 **From: johnny**  
Once I read that puffs and snakes get along very well.

 **To: johnny**  
so we’d be hogwarts friends.

 **From: johnny**  
We’d be very good Hogwarts friends.

Of course Yuta wouldn’t be in Hogwarts. So Ten could probably befriend Johnny without worrying that he would be mixing up with his brother’s friends.

Although… What happened with Jaehyun wouldn’t happen with Johnny if Ten happened to become friends with him. Would it? If anything, Ten would be the one yanking a friend from Yuta’s claws. 

**From: johnny**  
So. Thursday, Friday?

 **To: johnny**  
thursday. studying on a friday is kinda depressing.

 **From: johnny**  
Alright, Thursday it is!

Ten stares at the last message for a few seconds. Would it be weird? Befriending Johnny? Johnny sounded legitimately down for it, and he was quite a nice dude. Ten didn’t have to hang with him and the team, he didn’t have to follow Yuta around. Maybe… Maybe he could study with Johnny and occasionally text him. Maybe.

He tosses his phone on the nightstand and turns around, flopping on his belly.

\--

Taeyong gets the role (some dude from some Shakespearean play Ten has probably read, but doesn’t remember). Ten is not surprised when his name is there as the fucking lead of the show. He’s gotta admit he’s proud of his friend. They celebrate in Taeyong’s favorite way: going to a bookstore. Kun is finally free to hang out with them, so they all go for ice cream afterwards.

Of course Taeyong doesn’t miss the chance of mentioning their encounter with Johnny outside the auditorium. And Kun, obviously, jumps at it. After hearing the whole story, he’s convinced that Ten is joining the basketball team.

“That’s ridiculous, I’m not joining the basketball team.”

“Think about it!” Kun says, licking at the sides of his mint ice cream cone. “Your inferiority complex would finally disappear because you’d be doing the same thing Yuta does.”

Ten is baffled. “I don’t have an inferiority complex, I--”

“Yeah, right.” Kun rolls his eyes. “You live in the same house and you don’t even talk to him. You’re that threatened.”

Suddenly, Ten doesn’t feel like eating ice cream anymore. “Can we talk about anything else, please?”

Kun snorts, because he’s a mean son of a bitch and Ten has no idea why they’re friends. “Sure, precious.”

The condescendence in his tone makes anger bubble inside Ten. Taking a deep breath, he pushes it down. Kun is just trying to get a rise out of Ten, that's what he does best.

Taeyong clears his throat, an attempt to clear the atmosphere. 

“They're screening Rosemary's Baby later tonight. Should we go see it?”

Yeah, Ten can't really push it down. He glares at Kun, who looks like he was expecting that exact reaction. 

“No one came to my birthday party because Yuta’s fucking soccer team won the cup and decided to go out for pizza!” It just comes out. Ten can't hold it back, the words just roll out of his mouth. 

“Here we go.”

“I was waiting! For hours! And no one showed up! Do you know how this fucking feels, Kun? Do you?” Ten knows he’s screaming and there’s people watching, but his heart is beating too fast, and he just can’t stop.

“Did he go to the pizza place?” Kun asks, voice in a moderate volume.

“What?”

“Did Yuta go to the pizza place?”

Ten could swear his heart skips a beat. He feels his cheeks get warmer, and the tips of his ears tingle. He doesn’t say that Yuta was actually the only kid in their school who made it to the party, despite making the winning goal and having his presence at the pizza thing demanded by the whole team. 

“This childish competition is in your head, dude. Yuta doesn’t really care about it.”

 

Kun’s words follow him home that night, and Ten tries to recall every horrible situation he’s been in because of Yuta. Were they all really Yuta’s fault? Did Yuta actively provoke them? Was Yuta out to get Ten, surpassing his every move just to see him go mad? 

Just thinking about it makes Ten feel stupid.

He can’t help it. Feeling what he feels. His parents’ eyes always shine brighter when Yuta presents them with yet another success. And Ten… What has Ten succeeded in? Maybe Kun is right. Yuta doesn’t care about it. It’s all on Ten. Ten is the one who sucks at soccer, Ten is the one who lacks social skills. It’s Ten who can’t get a mere A on his tests.

 _Maybe you can study harder. Try a little harder._ Try to make a copy out of himself. Would that be enough? 

They’re too different. Ten and Yuta. He knows it’s pathetic trying to compare them both, but he… Just can’t help it. Ten left the Children’s Home with a chest full of hope, anticipating the beginning of his new life with his new parents, people who would love and protect him unconditionally. Yuta wasn’t part of the equation. But then there he was. And everything that once only belonged to Ten was being shared with this other kid who, besides being older, seemed to be better.

He gets home, and his brain is just… Exhausted. Ten wants to shower and fall asleep. But his father is in the kitchen, and Ten’s feet move before he realizes.

“Oh, hi!” His father, always cheerful, greets him. He drapes an arm around Ten’s shoulder, and it feels like a security blanket. “How was your day? You look tired.”

“It was,” Ten sighs. “Long.”

“Well, you’re home so you can rest now.”

Humming, Ten leans his head on his father’s shoulder. Rest sounds good.

\--

“Do you feel like you’re just a lame version of someone else?” 

Johnny blinks at him, having lifted his head from the notes he was reviewing. They've been studying for an hour and half, maybe, and Ten’s thoughts just started to wander.

“A lame version?” Johnny asks, confused.

“Yeah. Like. There’s someone out there that can walk and talk like you, but they do it better.”

Johnny seems to consider it for a second. “I don’t think so.” He answers in all seriousness. “We’re all unique in our own way. There’s no one who can walk and talk like us.”

“Then. Why do we feel like there is? Isn’t that why people work hard to lose weight or learn a new language? To be better?”

“Wanting to be better is different than feeling like someone is better than you.” Johnny places both forearms on the table, entwining his fingers. “The want to change can come from within. From just… Wanting to be a better version of yourself. Yourself,” he emphasizes. “No one else.”

No one else. Is Ten trying to be a better version of himself? Or is he just picking at all the parts of himself that are unlike anyone else?

“Why are you thinking about this?” Johnny’s words are careful, like he’s tiptoeing around the subject. _Precious_ , Kun called Ten.

Ten shrugs, downcasting his eyes. “I still don’t know which version of myself I want to be.”

It’s too quiet for too long. Then, Johnny speaks.

“Do you want to go for a walk?”

 

It’s not too cold today. There’s a cool breeze blowing on their faces, and it makes the leaves on the trees swish back and forth. They’re not going anywhere in particular. Ten just followed Johnny out of school and now they’re in an adjacent street. It’s filled with houses, which makes Ten want to pull out his sketchbook and start drawing.

“What are you thinking?” Johnny asks. He has his hood pulled up, a few strands of his auburn hair falling over his eyes. He looks like one of those misunderstood characters from popular teen angst series. The loose strands make Ten want to reach out and brush them aside, though, which is kind of a weird thought.

“That I’d like to sketch these houses.” Ten admits. “They’re pretty nice.”

“Sketch?” Johnny tilts his head to glance at Ten. “Do you draw?”

 _It’s pretty much the only thing I do_ , he refrains from saying. Instead, Ten just hums, keeping his eyes ahead.

“Cool. Do you only draw houses?”

“Nah. But I've been into drawing houses lately, so I can’t stop eyeing them. I feel like an architecture pervert.”

Johnny snorts, and there he goes placing his hand over his mouth again in that cute manner. It doesn’t match the whole teen angst aesthetic he’s got going on. Still makes Ten’s heart feel a little tight, which is odd.

“I don’t think that’s a thing. Like. At all.” Johnny says. When Ten doesn’t reply, he asks, “Can I see it?”

“What?”

“Your drawings?”

Johnny’s tone is expectant, and he bites his lower lip as he watches Ten. 

Ten is conflicted. The only person besides his parents who have ever seen his drawings is Taeyong. Ten wouldn’t feel comfortable showing them to anyone else. Maybe it’s because Johnny has helped him with the Physics assignment and is also happily tutoring him, but Ten is considering it. He’s considering handing Johnny the sketchbook. 

“You don’t have to show me, it’s ok.” Johnny scratches his nose, looking down.

Without saying anything Ten opens his backpack and pulls out the sketchbook, presenting it to Johnny. The cover is covered in stickers; ducktales and teen titans fanart he got online, and he hopes Johnny doesn’t spend too long on that.

Johnny hesitates, and Ten reassures him. “It’s ok, really. Take it.”

Watching Johnny inspect his drawings is somewhat nerve-wracking, so just puts his hands in his pockets and pretends he’s still observing the houses.

“These are great,” Johnny says. There’s awe in his voice, and he looks at Ten like he’s just grown another head. “Seriously. You’re really talented.”

Ten knows he’s blushing, so he turns his head, making it impossible for Johnny to see his face.

“I think I don’t have a talent like this,” Johnny adds, letting out a sigh.

That statement baffles Ten. He whips his head around to glare at Johnny. “What? Aren’t you on the basketball team and math group and av club and everything else?”

“I’m not the best player, that’s your brother.” Ten tries not to wince at the mention of Yuta. “Also, studying is not a talent. And I’m not in av club.”

“You’re better at it than I am, that I’ll say.”

“Because you don’t like studying.” Johnny mentions. 

Well, he’s not wrong. Ten doesn’t like studying. He knows he should do it and that it’s important (even though he doesn’t understand why), but it’s just… Not his favorite thing.

“What’s your favorite thing, then?” Ten asks. 

“My favorite thing? Uh…” Johnny looks up, squinting at the sky as he thinks. The hood falls back and it messes his hair even more. Ten is dying to just _fix it_. “Reading.”

Oh yeah, Ten recalls their first meeting at the library. Johnny was reading some weird book. He asked if Ten liked science fiction.

“I should have guessed that,” Ten says, and Johnny smiles.

“Yeah, I’m a book nerd. Science fiction is my favorite genre, but I've read them all. From Jane Austen to Dan Brown.”

“What’s your favorite book?”

“Oh no, that’s tough. I don’t think I have one. I do have a favorite movie, though.”

Ten watches him in interest. “Which is?”

“The Matrix.” Johnny looks at him as if he’s expecting Ten to strike him or something. “I know it sounds lame, but… I don’t know how to explain, but that movie is just… So good.”

“I've never seen it.” Ten confesses. Johnny lets out a loud WHAT. “Yeah.”

“Dude, you gotta see it!”

Ten groans. “Do I really? It doesn’t sound so interesting!”

Johnny gasps, like Ten’s just personally offended him. “I take that as an insult, Ten.”

Chuckling, Ten playfully elbows him. He knows the movie is a classic and like, a mandatory watch. Also, one of his father’s favorites. There’s a blu-ray disk at home if Ten is not mistaken, maybe he could… Perhaps… Check it out.

As he considers finally watching The Matrix, Ten realizes he feels a lot more light-hearted than he was when he first entered the library to meet Johnny. The issues and concerns that were clouding his thoughts earlier are still there, but somehow they seem manageable. 

Ten peeks at Johnny, noting how the corners of his mouth lift just slightly. There’s just this… Carefree air about him. Ten doesn’t understand how, with the crazy amount of responsibilities Johnny’s picked up for himself, how does he still manage to look like that? As if it wasn’t enough, he finds time to help others. To take pitiful people on pleasant walks and distract them from what’s bothering.

“Johnny?” Ten calls once the silence has stretched too far. Johnny turns to him in question. “Thank you.”

When Johnny grins, Ten feels like he’s looking straight at the sun without sunglasses on. It does that weird thing to his heart, making it feel tighter.

“I hope you’re feeling better,” he says. “It seemed like you had a lot on your mind before.”

The thoughts were suffocating him. “I had.”

“I know it might be overwhelming sometimes, but you’re seventeen. You’re not supposed to have everything figured out yet. Just… Take it easy. And remember that no one expects you to be anyone other than yourself.”

Ten glances at him. “Do you really believe that?”

“I do,” Johnny nods. “And you should too.”

The way his eyes meet Ten’s make it so easy to believe him. By the end of their walk, Ten thinks he can definitely befriend Johnny.

\--

It’s Sunday afternoon when Ten decides to watch The Matrix. He’s bored, Taeyong is busy studying (lame) and Ten is still mad at Kun for being mean. It wouldn’t hurt watching a movie on a lazy Sunday afternoon. Ten makes himself comfortable on the couch with pillows, blankets, and some popcorn. The movie keeps him entertained. Ten rolls his eyes at most science fiction films because they’re the least likely to happen. Sure, a robot uprising will certainly be possible a few years from now, but it’s still hard to relate. That’s why Ten likes horror movies. Vengeful spirits are totally believable

.There’s a fight sequence going on when Yuta flops down on the couch next to Ten.

“This scene is sick! Watch how she lands,” his brother says, eyes glued to the screen. Ten squints at him. “Woooooooow!” Yuta laughs, loud and silly. “I love this movie.”

Ten doesn’t reply, choosing to focus on the movie and hoping that Yuta can catch a hint.

He doesn’t. He just sits there next to Ten, making unnecessary commentary to every scene as if Ten cares about his opinion.

When it becomes too much, Ten huffs, turning to face his brother. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” 

Yuta looks at him, eyebrows arched and not a hint of offense. “Yeah, I’m just waiting for Jaehyun. Oh, here comes Agent Smith!”

Great. 

Ten tries to bring his attention back to the film, and does his best to ignore Yuta’s voice.

Like the universe has decided to test Ten’s patience, Jaehyun makes his way into the room, sitting next to Yuta. Instead of carrying Yuta out of the room and leaving Ten alone, he actually _sits_. He sits and starts _watching the movie_. The commenting intensifies with Jaehyun’s presence. Yuta has someone to discuss the scenes with, and it drives Ten insane. He pauses the film.

“Didn’t you say you were just waiting for Jaehyun?” He inquires, making sure to frown as he glares at them. Yuta shoots him an apologetic look, and Jaehyun presses his lips together. 

“Yeah, and now he’s here.” Yuta gestures towards Jaehyun, who chuckles out a laugh, then turns to press his lips shut when Ten scowls.

“So leave already!” Ten presses.

“Can we stay if we stop talking?” Yuta asks. 

“We really like this movie.” Jaehyun informs.

Both of them look at Ten with big, round, sparkly puppy eyes, and it kinda throws him off. He wasn’t planning on having company, much less Yuta and his minion. But… If they stay quiet… It will be like they’re not present. 

At least that’s what Ten hopes when he acquiesces, an annoyed sigh leaving his mouth. 

“If you say anything,” he threatens, index finger in the air. “I’ll kick both of your asses out.”

The duo grins, making zipping motions at their lips and focusing on the screen. Ten watches them for a second before pressing play on the movie.

They still whisper to each other. Ten can hear them talking about Neo and Trinity in low voices, bringing their heads together. They giggle occasionally, and Ten rolls his eyes. They just can’t shut up, can they? Well, at least they’re not being a bother. Ten resumes watching until he feels something poking his shoulder.

“Can we have some popcorn?” Yuta asks, his eyes moving from Ten’s face to the huge popcorn bowl on his lap.

What a nuisance. Ten could be petty and refuse, eat the whole thing by himself. But the truth is that he’s eaten too much already. So he, once again, complies, and offers the bowl to Yuta, who thanks him in a chipper tone, immediately stuffing his face with popcorn.

Eating does better to shut them up than Ten’s threatening, and for a long while the only sounds surrounding them come from the film. The moment the popcorn is over, the chatter restarts. Ten supposes he should be glad they’re being mindful and keeping a low voice.

When the film is over, Ten turns everything off and collects his blankets, ready to retreat into his room.

“Hey, we’re going to the river court. Do you wanna come?” Yuta asks before Ten has a chance to escape.

The river court is close to the school, and Ten knows it’s a known hangout location. The kids in the basketball team sometimes gather there to play pick-up games. It’s the last place on earth where Ten would feel comfortable.

“It’s going to be fun.” Jaehyun says. Ten looks at him, and Jaehyun offers him a smile. 

Ten doesn’t even remember the last time they hung out together. Probably six, seven years ago. It would be silly of him to pretend he’s never missed Jaehyun, they used to be best friends after all. It hurt at first, knowing that Jaehyun would rather play around with Yuta than Ten, but he had to get used to go on without his best friend. Ten ended up meeting Taeyong anyway, so he’s good now. He doesn’t miss Jaehyun anymore.

“Come on, Ten.” Yuta insists, and that stupid hopeful expression is back on his face. “We won’t be back late.”

It’s almost like he really wants Ten to go. But why. Why would he want Ten there? Yuta knows very well that Ten doesn’t get along with his friends. Well. That’s not entirely true anymore, is it? Ten considers asking if Johnny will be there, but that would result in Yuta knowing about their connection, and Ten is not keen on that. Maybe Ten could invite a friend of his own? Which one though? Taeyong is busy studying (lame) and Ten is still upset with Kun. Those two are the only friends Ten has. 

What a silly idea. Going with them by himself means that Ten will get easily tossed aside, watching those people have fun and feeling like a giant pile of crap. He remembers what it felt like going out with Yuta’s friends when they were children. Ten tried to follow Jaehyun when he was swooped in by Yuta, but… It was pretty clear that he didn’t belong with that crowd. He still doesn’t.

Ten shakes his head. “I got stuff to do.” He blinks at them, ignoring the look Yuta and Jaehyun share. “Thanks.”

He doesn’t stick around to hear what they say next. Ten hurries out, going into the safety of his room. He sits on his bed, staring at his door.

That’s the second time Yuta invites him out in a short period of time. It’s clearly not a trap to get payback for knocking Jaehyun down -- the latter seems to be fine. He shakes the thought out of his head, grabbing his phone from where it had been charging. There are no notifications waiting for him, as per usual. Ten opens his inbox.

 **To: johnny**  
guess what i just watched

 **From: johnny**  
No.  
The Matrix? :O

Ten smiles, laying back on the bed.

 **To: johnny**  
bingo. it’s alright.

 **From: johnny**  
ALRIGHT? It’s a MASTERPIECE!

 **To: johnny**  
i liked agent smith

 **From: johnny**  
Of course you did, you Slytherin.  
What are you doing now?

 **To: johnny**  
laying on my bed. staring at the ceiling. texting you.

 **From: johnny**  
So you’re not busy, cool. Do you wanna meet?  
Some of us are going to the river court.

There’s his answer. Johnny is going to the river court. And now he knows that Ten isn’t busy, so lying to him will be impossible if Ten is planning on keeping his integrity. He sits up, looking around his room in mild panic, thinking of a strategy to get out of this one. Johnny is not the problem, Ten has already accepted that he’s a nice guy. Ten feels good around Johnny, he’s cool, and considerate, and smart, and smells kinda good. The problem is… The rest of the people. Just thinking about hanging around a bunch of people who have never acknowledged Ten’s existence before brings a shiver up his spine.

He looks down at his phone, rereading Johnny’s last text. He could say he’s not feeling well. Yuta and Jaehyun know he’s not sick, though, so if Johnny happened to mention Ten around them, his lie would be uncovered.

Or. He could say the truth. How much would Johnny judge him? He doesn’t seem like the kind of person who jumps into judgement without knowing the whole story. Perhaps Ten could trust him with the truth.

His thumbs hover the screen of his phone, and Ten gently taps them on the keyboard.

 **To: johnny**  
i don’t think it’s a good idea

Ten bites his nails the whole time he’s waiting for the reply.

 **From: johnny**  
Why not?

 **To: johnny**  
there will be some people there i don’t feel comfortable around

 **From: johnny**  
Did anything happen? Yuta is coming too.

Precisely. Ten sighs, thinking he probably shouldn’t mention wanting to stay away from his brother.

 **To: johnny**  
i know. i’m not rly friends with his crew

 **From: johnny**  
You’re friends with me. Aren’t you?

 **To: johnny**  
of course.  
but i’d rather stay home. sorry johnny.

 **From: johnny**  
:(  
Do you… Want me to come over?

His heart does the squeezy thing again. Ten wouldn’t mind seeing Johnny tonight. He really wouldn’t. 

**To: johnny**  
its alright. enjoy your game.

Johnny doesn’t reply after that. Ten drops his phone on the nightstand, covering his eyes with his forearm. He feels pathetic for a reason. He’s only acting on self-preservation, but somehow it feels like he’s being an asshole. 

\--

Kun apologizes on Monday. Ten suspects the whole thing is Taeyong’s doing, but he appreciates it nonetheless. Kun goes on and on about not meaning to hurt Ten’s feelings and stuff, and Ten gets it. Kun is honest, and sometimes his honesty goes too far (and it turns into rudeness in disguise). They’re cool, though. Kun takes History notes on Ten’s notebook and at the end of the lesson gets a picture for himself.

Ten runs into Yuta on his way to Physics, and his brother smiles, patting Ten’s shoulder, which is INSANE. Yuta doesn’t talk to Ten at school (not after Ten threatened to poke his eyes if Yuta ever talked to him there back in middle school). Ten is still a little dazed when he gets to class. He realizes it doesn’t really make him angry like it used to. It’s just… Weird. And awkward.

“You look like you've seen a ghost.”

Ten turns to face Johnny, and blinks at him. The sight of Johnny works to bring Ten back to earth, and he lets out a long sigh.

“I’m cool,” Ten says, placing his book on the table. “How are you?”

Johnny runs a hand through his hair, shrugging. “Fine. Do you have plans for today after school?”

Ten never has plans. “Nope. Why?”

“Do you wanna come to the practice?” Johnny asks.

“Practice?” Ten frowns. And then he remembers. It’s Monday. There’s basketball practice on Mondays. “Oh, practice.”

“Yeah, practice.” Johnny chuckles. “Come and watch.”

Ten’s about to ask Johnny why he’d want Ten there when Mr. Kwon comes in, and the class nearly drowns in silence. Ten adjusts in his seat, and focuses on their teacher. 

He’s trying his best to pay attention to Mr. Kwon’s explanations, but he can’t stop thinking about Johnny’s invitation. Ten has nothing better to do, so he could go to this thing. But Yuta. Yuta will be there. And Johnny will talk to him, obviously, so everyone will know they’re talking. It shouldn’t be a problem. Being friends with Johnny doesn’t mean Ten will start hanging out with those people. He doesn’t even have to sit close to the girlfriends who usually watch practice and the other seniors in their friends’ group who are not part of the team. Ten could sit very, very far from them.

Yes. He could sit far away. He’d be there for Johnny, not those folks. Johnny, who’s turning up to be a good friend. It’s the second time he asks Ten to go somewhere. If Ten refuses Johnny could take it as a sign that Ten is reconsidering their friendship, and that’s definitely not what’s going on.

When the bell rings, Ten knows he can’t leave without giving Johnny an answer. And Johnny is there, looking at him, waiting for that answer.

“So,” Johnny says, toying with the straps of his backpack. “You coming?”

Ten can take his sketchbook. Yeah, if anyone asks he can say he’s just sketching… Not that anyone would ask, but just in case he needs an excuse…

“Yeah,” he says, swallowing hard. “Yeah, I can come.”

Johnny opens one of those smiles that make Ten feel like he’s staring straight into the sun without sunglasses, and he can’t believe he almost missed that.

“Awesome. It starts in an hour. See you there!” Johnny walks out of the class, and Ten stares after him.

 _It’s just basketball practice,_ he tells himself. _It’s no big deal, you can do this._

 

Ten meets Taeyong near the auditorium. They haven't seen each other all day, Ten doesn’t know if Taeyong has plans for later.

“You should come with me to basketball practice later.” Ten says, avoiding Taeyong’s eyes. 

His friend is carrying an armful of books, and has quite the hard time looking at Ten from behind them all. He doesn’t have to see Taeyong to know he looks confused.

“What? Basketball practice?” Taeyong questions. “What are you doing there?”

Clearing his throat, Ten blinks, trying to sound nonchalant. “Johnny asked me to come.”

He risks a glance at Taeyong, and watches the precise moment his friend’s expression changes from confusion to acknowledgement. Then, Taeyong smiles. 

“Johnny, huh? Are you guys hanging out now?”

“I guess? He’s tutoring me, we talk a lot. He’s nice.” Ten doesn’t know why he’s feeling bashful. Taeyong is his best friend. And as he’s considered several times, being friends with Johnny doesn’t mean he’ll mingle with Yuta’s crowd.

Taeyong hums, the smile turning into a smirk. “And pretty good looking as well, isn’t he?”

Ten coughs, feeling his face get warm. “He… Is,” This is stupid. Why is he embarrassed? It’s not like he’s the only one who’s noticed Johnny’s got good looks. The boy has excellent bone structure, everyone with a pair of eyes can see. Hissing at Taeyong, Ten shakes hair out of his face. “What’s the matter Taeyong? Can’t I make friends?”

Taeyong laughs, seemingly amused. Ten wants to kill him. “Of course you can. Unfortunately I won’t be able to join you on this quest. I have play rehearsals.”

Dammit. Well, at least he tried. “You’re good for nothing.”

Taeyong rolls his eyes, but the smile remains on his lips. “See you later.”

Ten is left alone, no backup, on his way into uncharted territory. At least he has his sketchbook. Before heading to the gym, Ten grabs a waffle from the street vendor outside the school. He suspects he won’t be home soon, and he’s feeling kinda hungry. 

There aren’t many people on the bleachers. It’s only the team, the coach and assistant, and few students watching. The usual group of girlfriends is missing today, and Ten is glad. He finds a spot for himself near the exit, assessing the grounds as he finishes his waffle. Johnny is easy to spot. He’s one of the tallest in the team, along with that freshman kid Yukhei. They’re busy running around the court, passing the ball, yelling at each other. Ten has never been a fan of sportsball (he realized after being repeatedly humiliated in soccer matches), he only knows the bare minimum about basketball -- that you’re supposed to shoot the ball through the basket. That’s it. That’s the range of his knowledge. Seeing the way Johnny’s muscles shift as he tosses the ball, however, almost sparks an interest in him.

He looks good in a jersey. Ten didn’t pay attention before, but Johnny looks like someone who was made to play that game. How he dodges rival players and sights friendly ones all the way across the court. Johnny’s a good player. A rush of pride invades Ten’s chest, and he smiles to himself.

Yuta is there too. And Jaehyun. Ten doesn’t pay them much mind, choosing to let his eyes follow Johnny, inwardly cheering when he makes a nice play. Ironically, it’s Yuta who first sees him on the bleachers. He widens his eyes, mouth hanging open as he exaggeratedly waves at Ten. All the players turn to look at Ten, and it’s mortifying. Why the hell is Yuta waving at him? Was that really necessary? Ten doesn’t know how to react. Some of the boys turn their attention back to the game, but there are still a few eyeing Ten with interest. Johnny being one of them.

He waves too, but does it discreetly much to Ten’s pleasure. Ten waves back and sits there awkwardly until everyone has gone back to the practice. Fucking Yuta.

After his waffle is gone, Ten pulls his sketchbook out. He hasn’t thought about what to sketch. He could follow his architecture groove and draw the court, but Johnny is right there. Nearly demanding to be drawn. So he does.

It’s been a few weeks since Ten drew anatomy, he hopes he’s able to do this right. It requires a lot of ogling and intent watching, but that’s why he’s here anyway. Ten does his best to perfectly capture the softness of Johnny’s cheeks, the messy mop of auburn hair that looks the best on him. His legs, his shoulders. They’re awfully proportional, and Ten wonders if there’s any part of Johnny that just... _Doesn’t fit_.

When the coach gives them a water break, Johnny jogs right over to where Ten is sitting. He looks slightly out of breath, but it doesn’t stop him from smiling when he stops in front of Ten. He’s so much taller, Ten has to tilt his head back to look at him.

“Hey there,” Johnny says, brushing sweaty hair strands away from his forehead. “I’m glad you came.”

Ten returns his smile. “Hey there.”

Johnny looks down at Ten’s sketchbook, and the way his eyebrows shoot up makes Ten feel a little self-conscious. Like he shouldn’t be sketching. “Are you drawing? Is that _me_?”

Ten hugs the sketchbook protectively. “You can’t see it until it’s done.”

Johnny’s eyes flash with something -- Ten can’t exactly pinpoint what it is. Surprise, satisfaction, anticipation. It looks like a weird blend of them all. It naturally ends with a smile.

The coach calls them back and Johnny winks -- he _winks_ \-- before making his way back to the court. Ten snorts, but he’s oddly captivated. Johnny is just so… Endearing.

 

The coach’s whistle signals the end of basketball practice, and all the players scatter. Some of them run in the direction of the locker room, others pick up their bags. Yuta chooses to walk towards Ten. Ten frowns, alarms buzzing in his head as the checks his surroundings, but there's no one else sitting there. Only him. Yuta is definitely coming for him. 

Snapping his sketchbook shut, Ten presses it down onto his lap. He notices Johnny following a few steps behind Yuta.

“Fancy seeing you in here,” his brother says, brushing hair back.

“Good game,” Ten nods, because he doesn't know what else to say. 

Johnny chooses that moment to hook an arm around Yuta's neck. “That would be my fault. I asked him to come.”

Yuta is taken aback. He looks at Johnny, then at Ten. “You asked him to come?”

Johnny hums, and a for a second there Ten thinks he sees hurt flash across Yuta's eyes. 

“I didn't know you were friends,” his brother says, voice a little lower than usual. Yuta looks down at Ten’s lap, where his sketchbook is being held closed.

Both Johnny and Ten remain silent, Ten because he still doesn't know what to say, and Johnny…Well, Johnny looks confused to say the least. He has this frown and a tight smile on, the corners of his mouth smoothing down. 

“I'm going home,” Yuta says. “Are you coming?”

They never walk home together, it's just not a thing. Yuta knows this, Ten doesn't understand why he'd even ask.

“Uh, I was thinking we could-- uh…” Johnny says, the arm around Yuta's neck slowly sliding off. “Grab something to drink? And walk home.”

“Oh.” Yuta clears his throat, a bit awkwardly. “That's cool. I'll just take off then.” He taps Johnny’s shoulder and waves at Ten. 

They remain in silence for a while. Ten watches Yuta’s back, and Johnny watches Ten. The weight of Johnny’s eyes make him shift uncomfortably, playing with the cover of his sketchbook. Ten coughs, mustering up courage to finally look up.

“Um.” Is all that he says.

“So. Wanna go for a drink?”

They end up buying soda from the vending machine. There’s only one type -- cola --, so Johnny grabs two and offers one to Ten. 

There’s awkward silence for a minute, and as they make their way out of the campus Ten tries to come up with a way to break it. Johnny looks thoughtful, and a tug in Ten’s gut says it has something to do with Yuta.

“You did well,” he attempts, opening his soda and taking a sip. “Nice… Game.”

“Thanks for coming, I know it’s not your turf.” Johnny takes a big gulp of his drink, turning to look at Ten.

“It was nice. I got to draw people.”

That seems to remind Johnny of what he saw in Ten’s sketchbook. “Oh yeah, did you draw me?” 

“Yeah,” Ten shrugs, trying to make it sound like no big deal, but the way Johnny smiles bashfully kinda disagrees. “Do you want to see it now?”

When Johnny nods, Ten takes it out from his backpack, opening the sketchbook on the right page before presenting it. The smile in Johnny’s face grows as he scans the drawing, index finger running over the page. There are probably traces of graphite now on the pad of his fingers, but Johnny doesn’t notice (if he does, it doesn’t bother him). It’s not the best sketch ever, but Ten thinks it looks good. He added some shadow here and there for a little depth and made sure to highlight Johnny’s cheekbones. 

“You made me look good,” Johnny says, shooting him a pleased look. 

“I just drew what I saw.” Ten replies, accepting the item when Johnny hands it back. 

Johnny chuckles, placing a hand on the nape of Ten’s neck and gently squeezing. He retrieves it quickly, but it’s enough to make Ten shiver.

He can feel the ghost of Johnny’s hand on his neck while they walk, it makes him want to reach out and touch the same spot. Ten prevents it by pushing both hands into his hoodie pockets.

“Why did Yuta look so surprised that we’re friends?” Ten is _not_ expecting the question. He’s totally caught off-guard, unable to stop himself from gazing at Johnny with wide eyes, a mouth a little ajar.

“Sorry?” 

“Yuta. He looked kinda surprised back there.”

Ten feels cornered. He doesn’t like the idea of lying to Johnny, someone who’s only been nice to him. Somehow he doesn’t think that Johnny will judge him if he’s honest. Ten can just… Tell him.

Taking a deep breath, he hugs his sketchbook. “I’m… Well, Yuta and I aren’t exactly… We’re not really close.”

“Yeah, I guessed that, given that you never speak in school.” Johnny says. “But just now he looked a bit upset, don’t you think?”

Ten shrugs. “He’s got no business in my life.”

“Maybe he doesn’t like the idea of the two of us… Hanging out.”

Perhaps. Perhaps Yuta thinks Ten doesn’t belong with Johnny -- Johnny is too good to be friends with someone like Ten. A talentless dude who can’t even bother to keep his grades above average. It’s none of his damn business, though. Yuta can choke for all Ten cares.

“He doesn’t have to like anything,” Ten informs, putting the sketchbook in his backpack. This whole Yuta talk is bringing his mood down. “Can we talk about anything else?”

Johnny hesitates, facing ahead and scratching his ear. Ten has the feeling that Johnny has a few questions on the tip of his tongue. Nonetheless, he swallows them all, promptly changing the subject.

\--

“Yes, he got in! I know, we’re so excited!” 

Ten takes a bite of his apple, eyes never leaving the figure of his mother as she paces the kitchen. Ten has no idea who she’s talking to, but he’s pretty sure it’s not the same person she was phoning when he got home approximately thirty minutes ago.

“Yeah, it’s tomorrow at eight. We’re planning on a simple gathering for friends. We’re aware that not everyone will be able to attend, it’s such short notice, but we still wanted to celebrate. Joonmyun is beside himself. That’s what he hopes for!”

Rolling his eyes, Ten steps out of the kitchen, wandering into the living room where his father is having a phone conversation of his own.

“I’d be happy with anything honestly.” His father lets out a hearty laugh. “I know he’ll turn out alright whatever is the path he chooses to follow. Of course I’d be! Hahahahaha.”

Naturally. Ten turns on his heels and heads to his room. It seems to be the only safe space in this house anyway.

Yuta has been accepted into his university of choice. Ten’s parents are throwing him a party. It’s the only thing they've been able to talk about since morning. It doesn’t surprise Ten that Yuta got accepted, but he didn’t think his parents would go to such lengths to celebrate their golden boy.

The party is on a Friday night. Ten is told that he should invite his friends. He doesn’t. He goes through his day as if being alive is the worst thing that’s ever happened to him (not far from the truth, to be honest). He sits with Taeyong and Kun for lunch and guilt-trips them to share their food with him. Ten left home in a hurry this morning, he didn’t grab anything.

Taeyong eventually caves, sharing his nachos.

“So we’re not allowed to come?” Kun asks. 

“You can show up if you want, but I’m not sure if I’ll hang around.” Ten informs, dipping a nacho into cheese.

“What do you mean you’re not sure you’ll hang around? The party will be at your house.” Taeyong stares at him, and Ten sighs.

“I’m not in the mood to celebrate Yuta, I might bail.”

“Dude,” Kun says, giving Ten a look. “It’s a special moment in your brother’s life.”

“He’ll have enough people fawning over him, my parents invited all their friends.”

Ten didn’t really think about leaving the house during the party, the thought just occurred to him. He could stay for the first ten minutes and leave.

“Whatever, I like Yuta. Can I come?” Kun asks. Ten gives up on him.

At night, Ten watches his parents run around like headless chickens preparing everything for the party. The whole thing will happen in their backyard, and they pulled out all their party decorations for the event. Ten doesn’t remember when was the last time they had a party here. His mother coaxes him into helping out, so Ten ends up carrying chairs outside, much to his own chagrin. The guests arrive little by little, starting with Mr. Park and Mr. Do, Ten’s father’s workmates. Ten remembers being excited whenever Mr. Park visited because he always brought a present. There’s a present in his hands tonight as well, beautifully wrapped in silver paper. It’s not for him, though. Mr. Park still greets Ten with extra enthusiasm, pointing out how proud he must be of his brother for being accepted into uni. Ten just smiles.

Yuta looks happy. Of course he is. There’s a room full of people who gathered just for him. Who wouldn’t be happy? 

Ten greets a few of his parents friends and retreats to the corner of the backyard. Jaehyun is the first of Yuta’s friends who arrives, his parents alongside. Ten hasn’t spoken to the Jungs in ages, Jaehyun’s mother looks exactly the same. She hugs Yuta and kisses his cheeks, exclaiming how proud she is. Ten huffs, crossing his arms on his chest. This feels like his worst nightmare.

Johnny doesn’t see Ten when he gets in, a few of the guys from the basketball team with him. He goes straight to Yuta, hugging him tight, a huge smile overtaking his face. Ten has never been hugged by Johnny. It’s a weird thought, they haven't been friends for a long time, but it still pops up. Ten would like to be hugged by Johnny. Has Johnny smiled at him like that? There’s clear adoration in his face as he pats Yuta’s shoulder. Ten huffs again, turning to grab himself a drink. He grabs a can of soda, holding it in his hand as he looks around.

Everyone is busy talking about Yuta, no one would miss him if he just… Slipped away. Ten looks through the window in the kitchen, spotting Johnny outside still laughing with Yuta and the rest of their friends. He’d like to chat, he supposes. Ten likes chatting with Johnny, and just yesterday they started making a list of their favorite pokémons. It would be nice finishing the list. They could go inside where all the noise and Yuta talk would be muffled and just… Talk. Perhaps Johnny would hug Ten like that if Ten asked. It’s not Ten’s day, though. It’s Yuta’s day. Johnny hasn’t even bothered looking around for Ten, despite knowing he’s probably there because this is his house, after all. 

Ten opens his soda and slowly makes his way into his room. He doesn’t bother turning on the lights, just sits on his bed, back to the wall, and drinks. He could go to bed earlier. It’s Friday. He could text Taeyong, ask him to hang out, but knowing his friend he’d probably tell Ten to stick around. Kun is not an option. Sleeping early it is. Ten changes into his pajamas and finishes his soda, leaving the empty can on the nightstand. 

He’s already burying himself under covers when there’s a knock on his door. Ten ponders. If it’s one of his parents they’ll just open the door, so he could… Stay right where he is. They knock again. Ten rolls his eyes and jumps off his bed.

Yuta smiles at Ten, brilliantly white teeth sparkling. Ten just frowns.

“What are you doing there in the dark?” Yuta gives Ten a quick once over. “Are you going to sleep? Already?”

His brother looks surprised, but kinda disappointed as well. Ten coughs.

“Yeah, I’m a bit sleepy.” He says. It’s bullshit, he’s not sleepy at all, and judging by the way Yuta squints at him, he knows that as well.

“Um.” Yuta seems to think for a second, scratching the back of his head. “Can I… Talk to you for a minute?”

“Won’t people miss you? This party is for you.”

Yuta chuckles, turning on the lights as he walks in. Ten looks after him, closing the door. His brother sits on the bed, pushing the covers back a little. When he realizes Ten has no intention of sitting next to him, Yuta pats the mattress. It makes Ten roll his eyes, but goes anyway.

“What do you want?” He asks.

It takes Yuta a couple seconds to react. “Uh. Johnny was asking for you.”

Ten swallows down. “Was he?”

Yuta hums. “I really didn’t know you were friends with him. I thought… You didn’t like people like him.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Jocks. Smart people who rank high. People like…” He never finishes the sentence, but Ten can fill in the blanks. _People like me._ “I thought that was the reason why you didn’t like me.”

It sounds normal when it’s echoing inside Ten’s head, but hearing it come out of Yuta’s mouth has a different effect. It kind of makes Ten feel bad about his own feelings. 

“I--” He can’t deny, it wouldn’t be truthful. He can’t confirm as well, maybe… Dislike is not the right feeling.

“It’s alright,” Yuta smiles. “I've known since you threatened to poke my eyes out if I talked to you in public.”

Ten looks down at his lap, remains silent.

Fuck. 

Now Ten feels bad. This is most likely a tactic to make Ten feel exactly like that, and it’s working wonderfully. Why else would Yuta talk about those things?

His brother continues, “I just… I don’t know. I thought we would have gotten closer before I left for college.”

He sounds like he _wanted_ to be friends with Ten. “You have a bunch of friends, though.”

“None of them is my brother,” Yuta says. “I've always wanted to have a brother.”

Sometimes Ten forgets that Yuta came from a place like the one Ten lived in before being adopted. He probably had hopes, dreams, and expectations. He blinks, feeling the weight of Yuta’s eyes on him. He’s embarrassed, this whole conversation is embarrassing to say the least. He doesn’t know what to say, and he can’t bring himself to look his brother in the eye. Maybe… Maybe it’s because he knows his friends are right. And Ten still isn’t ready to admit that.

When the silence has gone on for too long, Yuta sighs.

“I’ll tell Johnny you’re tired.” He says, standing up.

Yuta walks towards the door, switching the lights off. 

“Yuta,” Ten calls out before he opens the door, he doesn’t know why. When Yuta turns around to face him, he says, “Congrats on the college thing.”

His brother grins, and leaves.

Ten doesn’t fall asleep immediately. He lies on his bed, looking at the ceiling. He thinks about what Yuta said, about always wanting to have a brother. Ten remember thinking about it when he was in the Children’s Home. He remembers thinking it would be nice having someone to play at home, someone he could trust to share secrets and laugh about silly things. He just didn’t consider having to share his parents’ attention with his sibling. He didn’t consider the competition that would naturally arise, and it did. Perhaps one-sided, but it’s still there. Truth is that Ten and Yuta played together when they were younger, and Ten had loads of fun. Before Jaehyun had run off to become Yuta’s friend, before Yuta had won his first medal and before Ten found out he happened to be a better soccer player. It all felt like… Like Yuta was trying to _steal_ his life from him. His friends think it’s stupid, and maybe it is. Maybe it’s all in Ten’s head like Taeyong says.

He takes a deep breath, checking his phone. There are a few unread texts, one from Taeyong and five from Johnny. Ten’s stomach flips, and he gulps, opening Taeyong’s text first.

 **From: big head taeyonggie ❤**  
So, how’s the party?

Ten decides he can reply to Taeyong later. He opens his chat with Johnny.

 **From: johnny**  
Hey, I’m coming to your house for Yuta’s party. You’ll be there, right?

 **From: johnny**  
I think I’ll be there 8.30. I have to give Yukhei a ride, his mom doesn’t let him walk alone at night.

 **From: johnny**  
I’m here! I don’t see you!

 **From: johnny**  
Are you here?

 **From: johnny**  
Yuta told me you went to bed already :( I was hoping to see you.  
Goodnight.

That last text makes Ten’s chest tighten a little, and he drops his phone on his stomach. Should he reply? But then Johnny will know he’s not really asleep. He’s right here, though. In Ten’s house. And Johnny said he was hoping to see Ten… Maybe he could just… Say hi?

 **To: johnny**  
yeah, i had a headache :(

He doesn’t think Johnny will reply anytime soon. He’s probably enjoying the party. It still doesn’t stop Ten from checking his phone from time to time, until approximately eight minutes later it chimes with an incoming text.

 **From: johnny**  
Oh no, are you feeling better? Are you still awake?

 **To: johnny**  
trying to sleep

Ten thinks about asking Johnny to come to his room. He’s in his pajamas, but who really cares about that. He… Wants to talk to Johnny.

 **To: johnny**  
do you want to say hi? first door to your right when you come in through the kitchen.

Johnny doesn’t reply to the last text, and Ten’s heart hammers in his chest as he waits. Eventually, there’s a knock on his door, and he jumps up, hurrying to open it. Johnny smiles at Ten, taking in his fruit-covered pajamas and chuckling. 

“Nice peejays.”

Ten lets out a nervous laugh, scratching his ear. He knows his hair must be a bit wild because of all the lying and standing up, so he pats it down.

“Are you feeling better?” Johnny seems to remember Ten’s headache (albeit fake). 

“Yeah. Thanks for asking.”

Why is he feeling so bashful? This is just Johnny. They were chatting yesterday at the library, talking about silly things. Maybe is the fact that this _is Johnny_. Ten is coming to terms with this reaction he’s been having to Johnny’s overall existence. It’s like… He wants to run in shame because he knows he’s blushing, but he wants to stay at the same time because Johnny is so good-looking and so nice that Ten wants to stay close to him a little bit longer.

“I’m gonna let you rest,” Johnny says. “But I was just about to text you about the game next Thursday. I know you’re not really into sports and all that, but I want to ask you to come anyway.”

It’s funny how Ten doesn’t even need to think about it. He knows their team is playing the quarter-finals against a prep school, everyone is hyping up the players. “Hey, I went to practice because you asked, didn’t I? So, what time is the game?”

Johnny’s eyes widen in surprise. “So you’re coming?”

“Yeah, if you want me to.”

They just look at each other in silence for a moment, and Ten wonders what’s going through Johnny’s mind. 

“I want you to,” Johnny says, casting his eyes down as he smiles, and he almost looks… Shy. 

“Then I’ll be there,” Ten informs promptly. “What time is it?”

“Uh… Six o’clock I think? We’ll be doing prep and stuff before the game so I won’t be able to meet you at the library that day. We could study some other day, though?”

Ten shakes his head. “No, that’s fine. Next week will be busy for you, I understand.”

Johnny looks at him as if he’s a unicorn or some other magical creature. It makes Ten’s face warm up, and his ears tingle.

“Okay. I’m gonna… Go. The guys are probably looking for me.” He says, pointing his thumb back in the direction of the backyard.

“They probably are.” Ten says. He wouldn’t mind standing here chatting, to be honest.

“See you… At school.” Johnny says. He sounds uncertain, but waves Ten goodbye. “Goodnight, Ten.”

“Night Johnny.”

\--

He’s eating the disgusting grub that’s being served as the lunch today. Ten makes a face as Johnny scoops up some of the ‘concoction’ and shoes it in his mouth. Ten considers walking over there and offering his own lunch so Johnny doesn’t have to eat that stuff. Johnny is the only one at his table eating the school lunch, Ten just doesn’t get it. Everyone knows you’re not supposed to eat the food they serve in the cafeteria, it’s there just for decoration.

Taeyong’s voice interrupts his thoughts. “You’re staring.” 

Blinking at his friend, Ten pops a chip in his mouth. “I’m baffled. How can he eat that?”

Kun snorts, stealing one of Ten’s chips. “Sure. We’ll go with that.”

“I’m serious, that crap is hazardous.” Suddenly making up his mind, Ten grabs the apple he was saving for later. “Be right back.”

He marches up to where Johnny and his friends are sitting. The first to notice Ten is Jaehyun. One by one, the guys turn to him. Johnny’s eyebrows lift, and the corners of his lips tug upwards.

“Hey Ten,” he says.

“Hey,” Ten responds, swiftly presenting him with the apple. Johnny’s eyes shift to the fruit in Ten’s hand, and he frowns. “Here. Eat this instead of that stuff. I don’t even know why you’re eating school lunch.”

Johnny seems confused as he accepts the apple, but also somewhat amused. He blinks at Ten in wonder, and Ten knows all his friends are also watching their interaction (including Yuta), he can feel their stares.

“Thanks,”Johnny smiles, and rolls the apple in his hand. “You’re coming later, right?”

Ah, yes, the game. The whole school is exploding with excitement. Ten really doesn’t care about it, but it’s important to Johnny, and he personally asked Ten to be there. “Of course I am.” Ten softly punches Johnny’s shoulder. Since his work here is done, he winks at Johnny and waves him goodbye. “See you then, player. Eat that!” Ten has already turned around to leave when he remembers the other boys at the table. He quickly looks back at them, holding their gazes. “Good luck to you too.”

Yukhei chokes on his food, Yuta smiles at Ten, Jaehyun mumbles a ‘thank you’ and the other boys whose names Ten can’t bring himself to remember just stare at him. Ten flashes him a wide smile, and makes his exit.

When he returns to his table, both Taeyong and Kun look at him in silence.

“What?” He asks.

Kun inhales, preparing to speak, but Taeyong’s hand grips at his wrist, stopping him.

“Don’t bother,” says Taeyong, and Kun deflates, letting out a chuckle. Ten notices that his bag of chips now lies empty on the table.

“You’re buying me another.” He points his index finger at Kun, who rolls his eyes.

“So I take it you’re coming to the game later?” Taeyong asks. “Didn’t peg you for a sports fan.”

They’re fishing for something, two pair of attentie eyes waiting for a reaction. Ten sighs, leaning back on his chair.

“Johnny asked me to come,” he confesses, because being honest is easier than trying to keep secrets from those two.

Taeyong hums, squinting at Ten.

“Are you two a thing?” Kun inquires.

The thought of being a thing with Johnny nearly brings color to his cheeks, but Ten manages to conceal sheepishness with a cough.

“We’re friends,” he shrugs, trying to make it seem like him walking all the way to Johnny’s table to offer him an apple was is no big deal.

“Friends,” Taeyong repeats.

“Friends,” Ten assures him, but it’s weird. He can barely believe his own words.

 

Ten has never been to a high school game, so he’s not used to being in school grounds at night. The hallways are packed with students wearing blue and brown, and he’s pretty sure he’s seen someone painted in blue from head to toe. He doesn’t even know if this is an important game -- it must be, given everyone's level of excitement. Kun usually attends games, but Taeyong has been forcefully dragged while whining he should be home studying. They find seats in a less crowded area, near a couple teachers. 

Johnny is by the bench alongside his team, receiving last-minute instructions from the coach. Ten lets himself be distracted by his exposed arms, and how good Johnny looks in that uniform. He’s wearing the bandana tonight, the black, red, and yellow one. The way he rolls his head back to drink from his squeeze tightens Ten’s chest. Ten’s eyes follow Johnny’s every move, like he’s the only one in the court. 

He doesn’t understand half of what’s going on when the game kicks off, just follows the ball (and Johnny) with his eyes and hopes that their team does well. The other team is pretty good, they even have a cheerleading squad, chanting across the court and cheering whenever their players score. 

Yuta is clearly the best in blue and brown, and it’s easy to see how much his teammates trust him. Realizing that would usually make Ten grunt in annoyance, but surprisingly, it doesn’t bother him. He catches himself clapping when Yuta shoots the ball through the basket, a strange sense of pride filling his insides.

Johnny is good. He gets a few assists here and there, and does a good job keeping and passing the ball. He’s not the best player, but a fairly decent one. Good. He’s definitely the cutest one, though, with that bandana holding his hair away from his face. Ten is pretty sure he catches some cheerleaders checking him out when he runs past them, and he wonders who the hell allowed those chicks in their gym.

It’s only during half-time that Johnny sees Ten in the bleachers. He stops facing the crowd, a water bottle in hand as he squints at the people, running his eyes over the rows. When he finds Ten, his expression softens, and he smiles. Ten smiles back (it’s automatic at this point), and mouths ‘you’re doing good!’. It makes Johnny laugh, shaking his head and turning back to his teammates. 

The rest of the game is heated. During the last minutes of it the game is tied, and Ten can’t help but biting his nails. For a moment there in which Yuta misses a play he thinks they’re doomed, but Jaehyun saves it by dunking the ball. And then the crowd goes wild. Ten looks around a bit lost, and Kun screams at his face “We won!”.

The players all gather in the middle, patting each other’s backs and screaming in victory. Some of the people descend into the court to congratulate them, and the other team retreats quietly. Ten is not a fan of sports, but this feels good. The energy in the court is vibrant, buzzing in his ears, and just lets himself enjoy it.

Because everyone is climbing down the bleachers, Ten, Kun, and Taeyong also go down. Kun immediately loses himself in the mass, and Taeyong leaves to congratulate one of the players, a freshman he knows from drama club. Ten ends up standing in the middle of the court, a bunch of excited people around him and loud music blasting from the speakers. And then his eyes meet Johnny’s.

He’s across the court, sweat dripping down his face, people repeatedly patting his shoulders as they pass by. He sees Ten, and he sighs, tight lips gently curving. He points an index finger at Ten mischievously. Ten frowns, and points at himself as if to confirm that Johnny means him. Johnny nods, and crooks his finger at Ten, calling him over. Ten, being Ten, thinks he should be insulted that someone is audacious enough to curl their finger at him, but this isn’t just anyone. It’s Johnny. 

Johnny, who’s recently found himself a place in Ten’s life without much effort. Ten _likes_ him, and he’s not surprised. So he responds to Johnny’s call, slowly walking towards him. They maintain eye contact the whole time Ten is walking, and somehow, anticipation fills his stomach, making him chew on his bottom lip. When he gets to where Johnny is standing, he blinks up at him. 

“Good game,” says Ten, with a tad of uncertainty. There’s this air, this atmosphere around them that almost feels like tension, and he’s never felt it around Johnny before. Maybe it’s the energy surrounding them, maybe it’s heightening every single feeling in Ten’s chest right now.

Johnny casts his eyes down for a second, looking up at Ten from behind his lashes. “Thanks,” he replies. His fingers reach for Ten’s, thumb brushing over Ten’s knuckles. His heart is beating so damn loud, Ten swears it can be heard over all the yelling and music in the gym. 

“I’m so glad you came.” Johnny says, his other hand coming to hold Ten’s, turning his palm up, caressing his wrist. Ten can’t take his eyes off him.

“I’m glad I came too.” The words come out that he doesn’t even register them. Instinctively, Ten takes one step closer to Johnny, bringing his other hand to tangle in his.

“There’s a party at Jaehyun’s,” Johnny is saying, eyes dropping from Ten’s eyes to his chin. They’re close, so close that Ten can see tiny beauty marks near Johnny’s nose. He wants to connect them with his fingers. “Will you come?”

He nods, not waiting a beat. “Yeah. I’ll come.”

Johnny smiles, absently touching a lock of Ten’s hair. Jaehyun’s house -- barely twenty meters from Ten’s own house. Even if it were cities away, Ten suspects he’d still make it. He suspects he’ll say yes to anything if Johnny is looking at him like this.

 

It’s been a long time since Ten last set foot in Jaehyun’s house. Not everything is exactly how he remembers, but just being within these walls makes him reminisce. He’s had some of the best days of his childhood in this house. It’s packed with people now, though, and more than half of the kids now occupying the spaces of the Jung’s house are drunk. Ten is not a big fan of alcohol, but he accepts the cup that Kun offers him, sticking close to Taeyong in a corner. 

They just let the music fill in the silence between them, until Taeyong speaks. “Can I go hang out in your house?”

It makes Ten sort, amused. Taeyong doesn’t really like parties, and Ten feels bad for dragging him along. 

“Yeah,” he says. “Just talk to my mom, she’s probably awake.”

Taeyong hands his completely full cup to Ten, and smiles tightly. In a second he’s gone, and Ten is alone in a crowd for the second time tonight. Kun has slipped away as soon as he gave them the beers, and Ten is not about to go find him. He’s not here for Kun, anyway.

Ten’s seen Yuta chatting with some people earlier, but there’s no sign of Johnny. Ten has half a mind to go looking for him, but something grounds him to this spot, holding two full cups of beer and looking extremely out of place. It makes him wonder if he should even be here.

But then Johnny finds him. Ten is distracted, inspecting the people dancing ahead of him, he doesn’t see someone coming from his left, startling when one of the cups is taken from his hand. His head snaps to the side, and Ten faces Johnny, heart skipping a beat. He looks so fucking good in a denim jacket and white t-shirt underneath. 

“Is this for me?” Johnny asks, referring to the cup. He doesn’t wait for Ten’s reply, drinking from the cup.

“It was Taeyong’s, actually. But he didn’t touch it.” Ten explains.

“Taeyong. Did you come with him?”

“Yeah, but he escaped. Not much of a party guy.” Ten shrugs.

They just look at each other for a moment, Johnny’s eyes glinting with something that makes Ten’s stomach flip. He’s just so handsome, and the way he looks at Ten, with those impossibly warm eyes, brings ease into Ten’s heart. 

“Did I tell you how happy I was that you came to the game?” Johnny asks, and he pinches the front of Ten’s shirt.

“You did,” Ten knows his whole face is getting redder with every passing second, but he doesn’t budge.

Johnny smiles. He opens his mouth to speak, but is interrupted by something. He pulls his phone from his pocket and answers it.

“Yeah!” He yells, trying to make himself heard over the loud music. “What?” His eyes widen, and Johnny looks around in mild panic. “Alright, stay right there! No, listen, I’m coming! Yeah, just wait!” And hangs up.

Johnny looks at Ten apologetically, and winces. “I have to go help my friend. Will you wait for me?”

Ten doesn’t know if Johnny can see the disappointment in his eyes. He shakes his head, forces a smile. “Yeah, sure.”

Johnny squeezes Ten’s arm. “It won’t be long, I promise.” And leaves.

Ten inhales, and sighs. Looking around the room, trying to find something to occupy his mind with, someone making a scene, a couple fighting, anything. Maybe he doesn’t even need to occupy his mind. Johnny said it wouldn’t take long.

Except Ten stands there for thirty minutes, the untouched beer in his hand has already gone warm, and he places it on the kitchen counter, having finally left his spot. Perhaps the problem with Johnny’s friend was more serious than he anticipated. Ten tries not to jump to conclusions, although it’s kinda hard not to feel abandoned. He walks around the party, not really sure where he’s going. He sees Kun making out with some dude Ten’s never seen before. Yuta is talking to a girl, too close for comfort, and Ten winces. He doesn’t want to think about his brother getting some action, so Ten rapidly turns around, and ends up finding Johnny. 

Johnny is also talking to a girl. The way she has both palms on his chest makes Ten stop in his tracks, an uncomfortable feeling in his gut. Johnny is smiling down at that girl, one of those brilliant smiles that just work to sweep people off their feet (it certainly works like that for Ten). He imagines what’s going through that girl’s mind, what she’s feeling being so close to Johnny. It’s probably nowhere near what Ten feels. He doesn’t know if he’d manage to snake his hands up to his neck the way she’s doing. He certainly wouldn’t step closer, or pull Johnny’s head down to whisper in his ear.

That’s when he realizes he’s intruding on something very, very private. Ten’s face burns with shame, and he turns around, feeling like the most stupid person in the galaxy. He hurries away from the scene, bumping into a few people as he almost runs out of Jaehyun’s house. Ten shouldn’t even be here, should he? This is no place for someone like him, and he would have never come if Johnny hadn’t asked him to. Johnny, who is probably getting lucky with a pretty girl tonight. Why the fuck did he asked Ten to come?

Ten stomps out of the house, running both hands through his hair because it’s just too hot, and the strands falling on his forehead are bothering him. The lights are on in his house, probably a sign that his mom is still up and working, so Ten takes several deep breaths before going in. She is, indeed, working, looking super comfortable on the couch with a computer on her lap.

“Hey honey,” she says, looking up at him. “How was the party?”

“Nothing much,” Ten says, walking towards his room.

“Taeyong is in your room.”

“Alright.”

Taeyong is asleep in Ten’s bed, looking peaceful under the covers. Ten could use someone to hear him rant right now. He doesn’t have the heart to wake Taeyong up, though, so he turns around and leaves, going back outside and ignoring his mother’s questioning look.

Ten sits on the sofa at the porch, staring into nothing. He can’t stop thinking about Johnny and that girl, and how he smiled at her, how she touched his chest. Ten doesn’t know why he’s so surprised. That’s exactly how it works for guys like Johnny -- jocks. What was Ten expecting? Was he expecting Johnny to… To _like him_? Was he expecting Johnny to let Ten touch him the way he let that chick, did he want Johnny to touch him that way? It’s stupid, but Ten felt different tonight. The way Johnny had talked to him back at the gym; he’d touched Ten’s hand, and it felt like… Something. Was he wrong? Was Ten just projecting? The thought makes him want to claw his eyes out for being so _stupid_. 

Minutes fly by as Ten sits on that sofa, ignoring the party sounds coming from Jaehyun’s house. Johnny and the girl must be getting cozy right now. He shakes his head, trying to erase that thought. Ten is feeling tired. He wishes he could fall asleep, but Taeyong is in his bed. Ten doesn’t really have a spare mattress or anything. 

His planning is interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. Ten pulls it out, and opens the new text.

 **From: YUTA**  
hey, where r u? johnny is looking for u, his phone died. r u home?

Ten huffs, locking his phone and shoving it back into his pocket. He’s not going to answer that. Why would Johnny be looking for Ten? He looked pretty well accompanied earlier. Did he already finish his thing with the pretty girl? Well, it’s not like it’s Ten’s business anyway.

He’s just thinking about going inside when a figure enters his field of vision. Ten turns his head to watch a tall guy wearing a denim jacket make his way across his lawn. His chest tightens, and Ten lowers his eyes. _Be cool_ , he tells himself, breathing in, and out. Johnny enters his porch and doesn’t say anything. He just stands in front of Ten, looking down at him, making him anxious.

“Sorry, that took longer than expected.” He says. It makes Ten want to roll his eyes, maybe laugh in his face. He just remains silent. “My phone died, I couldn’t call you.”

Ten keeps quiet. Johnny shifts.

“Are you okay?” Johnny asks.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” Ten replies, eyes still focused on Johnny’s shoes.

“You look… I don’t know.” He sniffs, and Ten just nods. “Why did you leave?”

That. That’s the question that makes Ten finally look up at Johnny. Because it’s such a mean question. It makes him want to kick Johnny’s shin. Johnny, on the other hand, looks a bit lost, like he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, or where to look. It’s the first time Ten sees him look so uncertain.

“You,” Ten starts, holding Johnny’s gaze, “looked a bit busy and I didn't want to bother.”

Johnny frowns. “Busy?”

Ten shrugs. “One of those cheerleaders was sticking her tongue in your ear” 

That seems to startle Johnny. He opens his eyes wider than saucers, and lets his mouth drop open. “What?!” He exclaims, scratching the back of his neck. “That’s-- No--” 

“I didn't want to cockblock you, so I left.” 

He looks even more panicked now. “Ten, that’s… No, I went to help my friend out! Yukhei, the freshman? He was locked in the bathroom and he’s claustrophobic. My phone died while I was helping him, I couldn’t text you and tell you that it would take a while. Someone locked him there on purpose, they broke the handle.”

“It’s no big deal, Johnny, I’m not mad.” Ten lies. “I just didn’t want to stay around by myself.”

His words do absolutely nothing to soothe Johnny, who brings both hands to his head. “I wasn’t trying to hook up with some chick.”

“It’s a party, people hook up.”

Johnny stops for a minute, watches Ten. “You don’t believe me. Why?”

“Well, I saw you with the girl, so…” Ten says. He doesn’t have any right to be this upset. Johnny can hook up with whoever he wants.

“Yeah, there was a girl, she came up to me, but I didn’t-- I didn’t do anything with her. I _wouldn’t_ do anything with her. I don’t…” Johnny runs both palms over his face. “Girls aren't really my thing.”

That catches Ten’s attention. Johnny sighs, and kneels in front of Ten, catching both of Ten’s hands in his. Ten’s breath catches in his throat when Johnny caresses his hands, tongue coming out to wet his lips.

“I wouldn’t ditch you to hook up with some chick. I wanted to be with you, tonight, Ten.” Johnny sounds so sincere. Ten’s heart pounds in his chest as he looks into Johnny’s eyes, a raw kind of emotion burning there. “It’s not possible that you haven't figured out by now.”

“What?” Ten asks, the pounding of his heart now loud in his ears.

“That I like you? I wasn’t exactly trying to hide.” Johnny squeezes Ten’s hands.

He what now? He… Likes Ten? But Johnny… Johnny is an athlete. He’s smart, he has lots of friends. How could he like someone like Ten?

“You like me?” Ten asks, just for good measure, because it sounds a bit hard to believe.

“You couldn’t tell?” Johnny arches his eyebrows, snorting. “Seriously, I did _everything_ I could to be around you.”

Ten frowns. “Why do you like me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Johnny asks back. “You’re… Charming. And endearing. And so talented. You have such strong opinions, you… You’re different. I just… Like you.”

He likes Ten. Johnny likes Ten. It sinks in slowly, as Johnny looks at him expectantly. Johnny likes him. “You like me,” Ten says.

Johnny chuckles, caressing his hands one more time. “I like you.” Johnny blinks at him, biting on his lower lip. “Do you… Like me?”

It happened so naturally that Ten didn’t even notice. He just woke up one day and he… Liked Johnny Seo. Because he’s just that likeable, that captivating. Ten smiles down at him, sliding his hands up into Johnny’s arms and holding tight, pulling him up. Johnny realizes that Ten wants him to sit on the sofa next to him, and willingly does so.

Instead of answering his question, Ten touches Johnny’s neck, letting his thumb rub on his jaw. He can feel Johnny shiver, and it makes him shudder as well. Ten inches closer, lightly pulling at the hairs at the back of Johnny’s neck. He lets their noses touch briefly before he presses his lips to Johnny’s.

Johnny inhales, fingers tangling into Ten’s hair as Ten mouth opens and he tilts his head, letting their lips brush against each other over and over again. It’s… Out of this world, the way Johnny kisses him. He licks at Ten’s mouth, pulls him a little closer, and wraps an arm around Ten’s waist. Johnny breathes him in, and Ten feels pliant, docile as Johnny hugs him, kisses him, sweeps him off his feet.

They eventually part, although Ten doesn’t feel like it. Johnny looks at him, and asks, “Was that a yes?”

Ten chuckles, bringing their mouths together one more time, because he’s not ready to stop kissing Johnny yet. Johnny doesn’t complain, kissing him back with just as much enthusiasm, and when Ten breathes into his mouth, Johnny groans.

“Ugh, I’m so into you.” He wheezes, and Ten laughs, throwing both arms around Johnny’s neck. 

“You are, aren’t you?” Ten teases, and Johnny hums.

“You drive me completely crazy. You’re so attractive, and pretty amazing. Like… funny, and witty, and smart. You're so much more than you think, and it kills me that you don't know how incredible you are. I could just… remind you. Every day. If you'd let me.”

Ten looks down at his mouth, feeling softer than he has in years. He pecks Johnny’s lips once more. Ten thinks he could get used to this.

\--

It’s Johnny who spots him by the lockers the next day. He’s walking the halls with that Yukhei kid, but the moment he sees Ten, Johnny waves Yukhei off, jogging over.

“Morning,” he says, and Ten isn’t expecting the arm that sneaks around his waist, or the kiss that Johnny presses into his hair. “Did you sleep well?”

Ten nods, looking up to meet his eyes. The moment they look at each other, Johnny smiles, leaning forward to catch Ten’s lips in a kiss. It makes a shiver run down Ten’s spine. He’s not used to being kissed this early in the day.

“Do you have plans for later? I got practice, but we can hang out after.” Johnny suggests, watching Ten expectantly. 

“That sounds really good,” Ten says, smoothing a hand down the lapels of his jacket.

“Cool. See you at lunch,” Johnny kisses him again, and the arm around Ten’s waist drops. He then looks to Ten’s right, and lifts a hand. “Hey Taeyong.” Johnny turns around and walks away.

Taeyong silently lifts a hand, waving at Johnny’s retreating figure. Ten can feel his face warming up, and he looks down, avoiding his best friend’s eyes.

“Friends, huh,” says Taeyong, and Ten groans.

“Just… Shut up.”

“When did that happen?” Taeyong asks. They close their lockers and walk to class together. A few people are shooting Ten inquisitive looks, he ignores them all. They probably saw the whole thing, but Ten doesn’t care. He’s got no reason to care.

“Last night. I left the party and he came looking for me.” Ten smiles to himself, recalling the events of last night. It still doesn’t feel totally real.

“Does that mean we’re going to sit with the jocks from now on?”

Ten didn’t even think about it. It’s surprising, but the thought of mingling with the athletes doesn’t bother him. He’d normally gag and roll his eyes thinking about Yuta and his stupid friends, but the truth is that Ten… Ten might have changed his mind? After that conversation with Yuta he’s been thinking about it, and… He wouldn’t mind spending a few minutes of his day near his brother. Sure, Yuta is still lame and all, but… He might not be evil. The same applies to his friends.

“I don’t know,” Ten says. “I don’t… I didn’t have time to think about it.”

“And how do you feel?”

Ten thinks about Johnny, and the way he brightens Ten’s whole day just by being there. He thinks about how smart Johnny is, and how he doesn’t seem to mind listening to Ten ramble. Johnny’s hair, and his ugly bandana, and the way he looks in his basketball uniform with sweat dripping down his arms. Ten thinks about the feeling of Johnny’s lips against his, Johnny’s arms around him.

He feels… He thinks he feels a little bit in love.

**Author's Note:**

> OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! you can talk to me on twitter, i need more nct frenz @zhangchans


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